As you might or might not know, after three months in the USA, I’m back. Within that time abroad, amongst other things, I managed to write enough poems straight from my soul to put together another poetry book entitled: This Curious Life. My wonderful illustrator has just completed her work and now the book is at the formatter. All in preparation for release in November!
I’ve been back a month now. I found it harder than expected to return to the environment where I lost my eldest son, Victor, to dreaded cancer two years ago on the 4th of November. The hurt is still strong, but thankfully less than it was.
When you are unfortunate enough to be touched by the death of someone so close, the loss can be overwhelming and cause you to fall into an emotional hell. Sadness claws at your innermost soul. You tend to torture yourself with memories of treasured times which just causes fresh waves of grief. That is the hardly bearable, ongoing sorrow experienced with a terrible loss.
That is the time you need others with you. That is the time you need to be active, even if it’s with the lesser, simpler things in life. That is the time you need to get away for a while. That is the time you tell yourself again and again that it will get easier to move on. That’s the time you need to find another purpose to follow to bring back some meaning to your life.
Then, what do you know, little by little you begin to notice things again: the changing colours of autumn leaves, the early summer scent, the noises of happy children playing, the shops, friends, shows and films.
Then finally, when it seems as if you would never smile again, life comes back.
I am thankful I found that other purpose with my writing, that I have a wonderful family around me and so thankful I can see my life coming back to me.
Until the next time, I hope you are enjoying life.
