I thought I would continue with my story about growing up and getting into writing.
My dissatisfied and frustrated life changed once I got my first guitar at the age of 13. I fell in love with the second-hand acoustic instrument from the off. Whereas others were learning the hits, I was most interested in writing my own songs. It quickly became a new outlet for my imagination. The receipt of this guitar opened up a whole new outlet for me to create better things ahead, and enabled me to dream of an exciting future.
I remember going up the wall in my bedroom while trying to get my fingers around the fret as I struggled to learn the cords. With a lot of practice, dedication and hours of frustration between me and my guitar I eventually got there. But I could still only play when alone!
Playing in front of others always got me very nervous. On one hand, I really wanted to play my songs to people. Yet on the other hand I would be dying from nerves. So I came up with some silly solutions, like having the room totally dark, or having whoever was listening be on the other side of the door.
Eventually I was able to play a simple tune. Then once I had received a bucketful of validation I was able to free up a little more. Eventually I began to play more openly.
In some ways, this internal pressure to write, but anxiety of the audience’s reaction is evident in my early stories. With my works going through constant rewrites, without ever making it out to the public.
At that time, I didn’t have a dream of writing poetry, but rather I wanted to be a songwriter. Although it may have changed a little over the years the purpose is still the same, to use my imagination to create nice emotional effects through words.
